With the Fourth of July weekend coming up, I got to thinking about all of the things Americans have the freedom to do. Our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote, our freedom to rant and complain, our freedom to set off fireworks and our freedom to come up with some pretty strange gimmicks.
Like this useless gadget. Fidget spinners that are suppose to relieve anxiety, but I get increased anxiety trying to work the stupid thing.
Then there’s all of the kitchen gadgets people invented because knives are just too basic.
I mean seriously, how hard is it to cut a banana or hot dog?
Then there’s these drawer stuffers.
And of course, what is more American than putting bacon on everything? Don’t get me wrong, I like bacon as much as the next carnivore, but seriously…
…can we just keep it simple?
mmmmmm…now that’s how I like my bacon!
But of course we can’t stuff ourselves with pork fat and not have consequences to our physique. So leave it to some imaginative American entrepreneurs to come up with these gimmicks.
Yoga with goats. I have no words.
Now if you want something more sophisticated, there’s the workout at the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
And then there’s… I don’t know what this is, but it looks like an accident waiting to happen.
Again, can we just keep it simple?
We’re keeping our 4th of July simple by setting off fireworks in front of my mom’s house, and eating, well, hot dogs and bacon of course. However you choose to celebrate your freedom this year, stay safe, keep it simple and have fun!